DEAD DIARIES OF DIARYLAND

2002-07-16 - 10:39 a.m.

The second dead diary is the diary of princessbi.

She begins in high school, ends in college -- covering a period of 7 months. She goes through two boyfriends while all the time she wants a woman or says she wants a woman. She gets pregnant. But only mentions the whole pregnancy once and never comments on it again. She says that she looks at women, not men, and yet dates men, men, men. And yet is a member of a bisexual-homosexual alliance. The feeling or suscipion I have is that she is really attracted to men, but thinks being a lesbian is cool, and a bisexual as not as cool.

And in both boyfriends she begins as if they are the perfect ones, that they are so nice and sweet. And with both, it has to be love. But both evolve into jerks to her. But she goes back to the first of the two anyway for it "just feels right". Off to college she loses contact with him and cries over him though she says she doesn't love him.

Long time later down the word she finds out that he broke into her email account and sent an e-mail to himself wording it as if she was sending him an e-mail and filled with stuff about how she thinks about him all the time, blah blah, basically a ego-boosting narcisstic e-mail for him to glory over. But he typed his own e-mail address wrong so it bounced back to her e-mail account. Which, for the record, first part is bibenfolds5chic. The three top things she uses to identify herself: "bi", "bensfold5", and "chic".

Backing up, in high school, a teacher she "sweats over" since junior high begins paying a little attention, special attention to her according to friends' words and this same teacher does call her home for a vague reason or concern. And this, after breaking up with first boy, 'Bread', she decides on a plan:

"I'll wear something sexy to school tomorrow and smile at him. That's a big step for me. He DOES have a girlfriend, but so do I [sic: have a *boyfriend*]...so it's even. I know it's not nice to cheat...but...you know...this a TEACHER. You gotta go for it."

Though it is not nice to cheat, because he's a teacher, its okay to cheat on your significant other and another person who has a significant other, because, you know, this a TEACHER. For the record, she is the valedictorian of her high school class.

And she would do something 'different'. "I love having my breasts pierced. They don't hurt like getting my bellybutton hurt and they're different."

The closest explanation why she so loves have her breasts pierced is because "not everyone has their boobies pierced."

She works for McDonalds for two years before she quits and makes an interesting observation that contrary to an advertisement of McDonalds which promises management preparation and college aid, McDonalds in fact, offered her a $20,000 management position if she did NOT go to college.

An interesting trivia fact that to her, the best movie, or "Well, one of the best" is 'Back to the Future'.

She, like everybody else, thinks shes different than everybody else.

"..why I'm alittle different than everyone else: I acknowledge that I don't know anything about life...Well, maybe I know some things, but not what I should. Oh, I'm so dumb sometimes, nevermind about this."

One of the major dominant subjects of her diary entries is boys and boyfriends, but in the latter half its Ben Fold's Five, Ben Fold's Five, Ben Fold's, Ben Fold's, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben, Ben.

And with one boy she comments about this boy that:

"He doesn't mind my addiction. He lets me hum Ben Folds while we're making out. You can't get much better than that.." With this same boy, she'd get bored kissing, stop, put in a Ben Fold's Five CD and resume making out.

This 'addiction' progresses:

"I guess I'm going to have to wait for Ben to come to his senses and come to me. After I get my M.D., I can give him free sessions and relieve his stress.."

And then she later enters a disclaimer that she's not obsessed or anything or pyscho or anything. Soon, one of major topics besides 'Ben' is explaining that she's not really pyscho-obsessed with 'Ben' or anything.

And yet:

"I need to speak with Ben or something. It would be so cool. Everyone gets to meet him I just want to talk to him on the phone or something. That's it.."

She also has an entry when Ben Fold's Five broke up, but is fully supportive of Ben Fold and the group's decisions even if she's a little saddened by it.

But she does finally see Ben, on TV that is:

"I SAW BEN ON JAY LENO TONIGHT!!! You're all asking the burning question, 'Yeah, but did she cry?!?'. The answer, my friends, is......ALMOST.."

But while she has not, to my knowledge, ever seen Ben Fold in person or even just talk to him on the phone, her obsession does not wither..

"then [fire] alarm went off. She rushed to her room next door, grabs her keys, a jacket, and her purse...I grab my keys, a jacket...AND BEN'S RTS JAPANESE IMPORT!"

It was a hard to get import.

"Took a picture of Ben Folds and his wife and put my picture on top of hers. It's really funny. I'm sure he wouldn't think so, Jarod, the new guy, not Ben. I'm sure Ben would laugh. It's pretty funny. It was meant to be a joke, not a weird obsessive sort of thing. I didn't even do it, someone else did it, so there. I'm not obsessive."

And yes, she wrote that she herself had "put my picture on top of hers" and in the same breathe that actually "someone else did it". Oh, and she is NOT obsessive.

Her last entry is partly about a date she has coming up.

Her last words are about Ben Fold.

Founded - April 14, 2001 - 1:08 p.m.
Ended - November, 13, 2001 - 12:14 a.m.
Entries - 49

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